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Title of this is NULL - because, my mind is blank.
Last night was India Night here in Salt Lake City, where I performed. I liked the atmosphere and the crowd - 500 or so cheering for the music is just great. But, I was tired after the show. Tired in the sense that, I am not getting what I want. My inner feeling was not refreshing. The feeling was that, I enjoy more singing for myself.
People come to me and tell, "You sang really well...". Some come with an expression I can't believe - "Wow..., you sing so well.. Your voice is ....(pause) I just can't explain it". My mind goes blank when people tell such things. I am not able to understand that what they say is what they really mean :(. I really doubt and think to myself, "was it really good? I didn't feel so standing there on stage".
I feel like retiring from onstage performances. If everything is NOT perfect as to my expectations on stage, I don't get the mood to sing. This is what I define, "singing for myself". If I don't enjoy, how can I please the audience? Still, I sing and people feel that it came out well. Performing has become like an addiction to me. After each performance, I don't feel like singing in public anymore. Sooner than expected, I am told to sing again for public and the cycle continues.
Last night was India Night here in Salt Lake City, where I performed. I liked the atmosphere and the crowd - 500 or so cheering for the music is just great. But, I was tired after the show. Tired in the sense that, I am not getting what I want. My inner feeling was not refreshing. The feeling was that, I enjoy more singing for myself.
People come to me and tell, "You sang really well...". Some come with an expression I can't believe - "Wow..., you sing so well.. Your voice is ....(pause) I just can't explain it". My mind goes blank when people tell such things. I am not able to understand that what they say is what they really mean :(. I really doubt and think to myself, "was it really good? I didn't feel so standing there on stage".
I feel like retiring from onstage performances. If everything is NOT perfect as to my expectations on stage, I don't get the mood to sing. This is what I define, "singing for myself". If I don't enjoy, how can I please the audience? Still, I sing and people feel that it came out well. Performing has become like an addiction to me. After each performance, I don't feel like singing in public anymore. Sooner than expected, I am told to sing again for public and the cycle continues.
Comments
Good going.
-Ramaprasad
by Manna Dey,beautiul semi/classical renditions.